9 years ago today

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Nine years ago today one the kids in our kids church suddenly went home to be with the Lord. Walking into the ER moments after he passed altered my life forever. I still do not understand why but through the years I have become more aware of who God is in the midst of life’s storms. It isn’t until you hit a storm head on that you realize how fragile life is. How weak we actually are and how strong God always has been. When 100-foot waves are crashing over you, it is easy to forget the anchor that is holding you that is keeping you. The past few months I have been meditating on a verse in Hebrews it says this.

Hebrews 6:18-19 Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls.

The result of seeing Christ in this way leads us to worship, often through tears. Robert, you are missed. I long for the day when Christ returns and makes all the sad things in this world untrue.

Teach your kids that their self-worth is tied to people’s acceptance of them.

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If you want to ensure your kids will be on the “The Bachelor”

1. Never show your daughter physical affection.
2. Teach your kids that connections are more important than commitment.
3. Teach your kids there is no consequences for their behavior.
4. Give your kids whatever they want.
5. Teach your kids that their self-worth is tied to people’s acceptance of them.

The last thing you must do if you want to ensure your kids end up on the Bachelor is teach them their self-worth is connected to people’s acceptance of them.

One of the worst parts of this show is when someone is sent home. They show them in the limo crying out of control. They are devastated. It’s a much different thing than when someone is voted off an island or loses at Jeopardy. On the Bachelor, the pain intensely personal. The Bachelor is not saying sorry you didn’t win he is saying “I don’t love you” it hurts like few things do in reality TV and in life for that matter. These women come on the show to find love that has eluded them and has left them feeling privately rejected only to be publicly rejected in front of millions. How do we help our kids build real relationships in a world full of superficial ones?

I never want my kids to go through this how do we prevent this?

Give your kids whatever they want.

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If you want to ensure your kids will be on the “The Bachelor”
1. Never show your daughter physical affection.
2. Teach your kids that connections are more important than commitment.
3. Teach your kids there are no consequences for their behavior.
4. Give your kids whatever they want.
5. Teach your kids that their self-worth is tied to people’s acceptance of them.

If you give your kids whatever they want you will teach your boys to be lazy and your girls to be manipulative. I can’t remember where I read it but I will not ever forget it. It’s so true I have seen this played out for years kids that get everything they want rarely turn out how their parents want. Often times it done out of a heart that we want what is best for our kids. We want them to have all the things we did not have growing up.

The efforts of the 20 women trying to capture the affections of one Bachelor was littered with manipulation. They do everything they can to get what they want without concern of who gets hurt. I have two boys and two girls the last thing I want is for my boys to grow up lazy thinking the world owes them something and for my daughters to grow up manipulating their way through life.

Here are some ways you can keep your kids from getting whatever they want.
1. Do not ask them where or what they want to eat.
2. Do give them toys instead teach them to earn money and save money
3. Sometimes tell your kids no when they ask for something when they ask why just tell them because you said so.
4. If your kids want something instead of buying it for them have them pray and ask God to provide for them
5. Teach your kids to be givers, show them how to tithe to their local church. Have them give some of their toys to charity.
6. Teach them please and thank you and to be grateful for anything and everything they are given.

 

Why is this happening…

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Why is this happening to me? Why me? Everyone of us at some point has asked “why”? When I think of someone crying why I for some reason always picture Nancy Kerrigan grabbing her knee after it was hit by a thug with a club as she was leaving an ice skating rink in 1994. The camera crew covering the event showed Kerrigan grabbed her knee and saying over and over again “Why,Why, Why…?” You don’t have to be a Christian to know this world is not as it should be. There is something inside of us that sees the the injustice, pain and inequality of this world and knows that we were made for so much more. We instinctively know that this world is broken and falling apart. As Christians we are not immune from the effects of this pain and the brokenness of this world. What we do have is living hope. We have a light that shines in the darkness of our darkest days. We have a hope that whispers to us in the beauty of a perfect day and screams at us in the darkness of our worst “Behold I make all things new.”

Teach your kids there are no consequences for their behavior.

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Here is the first post talking about how to ensure your kids will end up on “The Bachelor” 

If you want to ensure your kids will be on the “The Bachelor”
1. Never show your daughter physical affection.
2. Teach your kids that connections are more important than commitment.
3. Teach your kids there is no consequences for their behavior.
4. Give your kids whatever they want.
5. Teach your kids that their self-worth is tied to people’s acceptance of them.

One of the things that stunned me as I watched the Bachelor for the first time was that this show really wasn’t about relationships it was about exploitation of relationships. If you have never watched the Bachelor good for you let me save you the trouble here is how it works. They pick one guy to be “The Bachelor” and then they put 20 girls in the same house. He dates them one by one, and even in groups (awkward)  and tries to get them to fall in love with him. He then sends them home one by one.

The kicker is the whole way through he tells each of them he has a “special connection” with them and then makes out with them. This happens until the final episode where two girls are left thinking they are the one. He tells one girl goodbye and proposes to the other. The girl he says goodbye to feels like the biggest loser on earth and the girl he proposes to feels like it’s a dream come true UNTIL she has to watch an entire season of the guy she is engaged to kiss, flirt, and have “special connections” with every other girl on the show.