Why Parents Should Have Favorites

I was recently in a restaurant with all our kids and one of my kids needed some help so I helped her and gave her a hug then looked her in the eye and told her that she was my favorite. When other people overhear me tell my kids they are my favorite the reaction I always get is priceless. Most people are either shocked or offended because they counted how many kids we have when we walk in the room. If you have more than two kids you know what I’m talking about when you walk into a restaurant and people either pause or mouth the number of kids you have….apparently four kids is the new twelve. People who are shocked that I would have favorites and worse yet have the gall to say that I did out loud. Favorites

What most people don’t know is I tell all my kids they are my favorite. I tell them each they are my favorite and it never really occurred to me that this is counter-cultural it’s just something I’ve always done. I tell them each they are my favorite then I tell them not to tell anyone. It’s our little fun way of saying I love you more than anyone in the whole world.

Looking for beta testers

This time of the year parents should be looking for ways to keep their kids safe. During Christmas kids get more devices that are connected to the internet than any other time during the year. There are several options for you to do this. If you don’t do anything presently you need to. Our kids are connected to the net through video games systems, iPad, tablets, and the list goes on and on. If it has a screen it connects to the web and if it connects to the web you need a proactive strategy to protect your kids.

A friend of mine has developed some software to help keep kids safe online it is to the point where he is looking for beta testers. We need around 25 parents of kids 10 and under. We will take the first 25 families that fit that criteria.

Here is the info from the guy who created the software.

I would like to invite about 25 parents, free access to the beta, and lifetime free access to the product after beta.
-Each parent can create profiles for as many of their children as they like.  Age 10 and under would be ideal
-They should be open to providing feedback on what was easy/hard to use
-They should be willing to share and tag a few links or apps that they have found appropriate for topic and age-range
-The social links between parents will initially be based on email addresses, so they must be willing for that single piece of information to be shared among the beta group.  No information about the children is ever shared.

What you need to do to join the beta testing group is fill out this form and if you qualify you will be contacted with further details.

Why Kids Need Hymns and Carols.


When I was a kids pastor at the ripe age of 21 I did then what I find unthinkable now. I wouldn’t sing Christmas songs in kids church and never would sing hymns. As I think back I can’t even remember why I felt that way. I think I felt that kids wanted to have fun and Hymns were above their pay grade. I think I thought Christmas Carols were things you heard in stores not songs of praise sung in church. What changed my perspective was being in the same church for 20 years. Seeing the kids grow up that I had taught in preschool I realized that I had made a couple of mistakes.

One mistake was thinking that fun mattered more than substance. If I made it crazy enough they would come back. I’m all for fun but not at the price of substance. The other mistake I made is I thought I was helping kids with the faith that they need today rather than preparing them for the faith they are going to need. As kids pastors we have to give them a faith for today but we also have to prepare them for the faith they are going to need.

  We must give our kids a faith that is big enough they can grow into. Kids also need to be connected to the history of our faith. The need to know that God loves them yes, but many people have lived a life of uncompromising faith they can to by God’s grace.

You Don’t Need To Be Theologian To Teach Kids.

In my last post I made the case for systematic theology and why kids need it. I know many of you might be thinking that there is no way that you could teach your kids systematic theology because you don’t really even understand it yourself. Take heart you are not alone. The good news for you is there are many resources that are now available to help your kids and you understand the basic framework of our faith.

Theology is something that is scary for many parents as many of them were never taught theology because much of it was assumed when they were kids. Their parents assumed they understood things about God. The most important thing about our kids is what they think about God. Because that’s true we can leave nothing to chance.

So where do we start. I would not start with Systematic Theology for kids under 6 or 7 for them I would read them books that tell the large story of God as a Redeemer. To do that I would recommend the following books

The Jesus Story Book Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones



The Biggest Story by Kevin DeYoung

Once kids have an understanding of the big picture of scripture the parts will make sense. When your kids are between 7 and 8 I would working through a systematic theology with them. There are three that I would recommend this list is by no means exhaustive. I have broken them up into younger, slightly older and older again this is for connivance what is important is you find what works for you family and do that.


Everything a Child Should Know about God by Kenneth Taylor


The Ology by Marty Machowski

Older Elementary

Big Truths for Young Hearts by Bruce Ware



Bible Doctrine: Essential Teaching of the Christian Faith by Wayne Grudem


How To Partner With Parents

Give them a first step

In the kids ministry world the idea of partnering with parents is definitely mainstream. Most people are talking about why this is important. We need to be having this conversation. The more we talk about partnering with parents it reminds us of our primary job to lead and guide not to parent the kids in our ministry. This is so important. We are here to train and equip parents to more effectively lead their homes.

One of the things I often wrestle with personally is how do I take my understanding that I need to partner with parents and translate that into action. It’s so easy for me to nod my head at conferences and tweet things that say partnering with parents is important but how does that become a reality and not just a good idea. I would say the answer is small first steps.