Parents want to know what apps your kids are downloading?

appcertain

Like it or not the digital age is here to stay. As parents we are immigrants to this digital world that our kids are natives of. Despite its many benefits all the digital devices our kids are connected to require more from us as parents. So any time a tool comes along that makes monitoring what are kids are doing digitally I am for it. With the rise of Android, iPod, iPhones and tablet devices knowing what apps our kids are downloading would be nice.

Enter Appcertain

At AppCertain, they are passionate about computer security and motivated to discovering what behavior apps show. They are dedicated to helping us as parents understand and trust our family’s mobile devices by providing a window into the behavior of mobile apps. Recent advances in the business world have given companies greater insight into their employees’ mobile devices, and they believe we parents deserve a similar insight with respect to our families.

 

The difference between a goal and a new years resolution.

new years resolution vs. goal

Research shows that 80% of people who make a new years resolution will break them. 60% or more don’t even make them because they know they are going to break them. People don’t make resolutions because they feel awful when they break them. People don’t want to feel bad so they avoid the things that make them feel bad. The problem is that if we shoot at nothing we are going to hit it every time. To many people drift in frustration and borderline burnout because they have nothing to tell them that they are making a difference. They have nothing forcing them to get out of bed in the morning. We need a goal. We need something more than a random thought at 12:01 January 1st.

There is a huge difference between a goal and a resolution – A goal is something you keep in front of you every day. A resolution is something you wish could happen to you. The biggest difference between a goal and a resolution is active behavior versus passive behavior.

In our personal lives and in our professional lives we live for the weekend and for vacation because we don’t have personal and professional goals that drive us to produce and that provide us the opportunity to celebrate throughout the year.

In the next few posts I want to talk about goals and what part they play in our personal life and as a team. How do we set them? Why do we set them? What do goals tell us about ourselves and others.

Why leaders build silos

We all do it. We build silo’s because we like the comfort, recognition, and ego boost our department or  team you lead provides. We keep people loyal to us through our unintentional comments that make other leaders and other departments less desirable. When we don’t understand the value of the team and the goal we are trying to reach we will ALWAYS resort to silo behavior. We will retreat to our departments and dig in and make it us versus them. That’s not how any team should play especially not the church.

I have been reading Patrick Lencioni’s new book “The Advantage”. Lencioni begins to describe healthy teams and the qualities that comprise them. As a leader I am more collaborative and I want everyone on the team to function as a team. It wasn’t until Lencioni started talking about team dynamics that I realized that I have a long way to go. To be a true team you have to ask other departments hard questions and volunteer to help out in any part of the business that is struggling. I learned this behavior as a kids pastor. Due to the massive workload kids ministry provides, and the fact that few people on staff see or understand kids ministry. It sets you up to be a silo. You dig in and get it done.

I never realized I had silo tendencies until last week at our staff meeting when questioned by another staff member why I don’t share ideas with other campus pastors. I told him that isn’t my job. My job is to lead my campus not all our campuses. The next day I was reading “The Advantage” here is what Lencioni says about Team Number One.

The only way for a leader to establish this collective mentality on a team is by ensuring that all team members place a higher priority on the team they are a member of rather than the team they lead. A good way to go about this is to ask which team is their higher priority. I find that most executives will admit that in spite of their commitment to the team they are a member of, the team they lead is their first priority…..They enjoy being the leader of that team, moreover they feel a sense of loyalty to the team they lead, those people want and need their protection. This is absolutely natural, common and understandable and dangerous. When members of a leadership team feel a sense of commitment and loyalty to the team they lead than the one they are a member of then the team they are a member of becomes like the US Congress or United Nations it’s just a place where people come together to lobby for their constituents. Teams that lead healthy organizations reject this model.

Leaders must put the needs of the higher team (the team they are a member of) above the needs of their departments.

Ouch. guilt. ashamed. determined to change.

 

Guerrilla Parenting: Give your kids whatever they want.

Here is the first post talking about how to ensure your kids will end up on “The Bachelor” 

If you want to ensure your kids will be on the “The Bachelor”
1. Never show your daughter physical affection.
2. Teach your kids that connections are more important than commitment.
3. Teach your kids there is no consequences for their behavior.
4. Give your kids whatever they want.
5. Teach your kids that their self-worth is tied to peoples acceptance of them.

If you give your kids whatever they want you will teach your boys to be lazy and your girls to be manipulative. I can’t remember where I read it but I will not ever forget it. It’s so true I have seen this played out for years kids that get everything they want rarely turn out how their parents want. Often times it done out of a heart that we want what is best for our kids. We want them to have all the things we did not growing up.

The efforts of the 20 women trying to capture the affections of one Bachelor was littered with manipulation. They do everything they can to get what they want. I have two boys and a girl the last thing I want is for my boys to grow up lazy thinking the world owes them something and for my daughter to grow up manipulating her way through life.

Here are some ways you can keep your kids from getting whatever they want.
1. Do not ask them where or what they want to eat.
2. Do give them toys instead teach them to earn money and save money
3. Sometimes tell your kids no when they ask for something when they ask why just tell them because you said so.
4. If your kids want something instead of buying it for them have them pray and ask God to provide for them
5. Teach your kids to be givers, show them how to tithe to their local church. Have them give some of their toys to charity.
6. Teach them please and thank you and to be grateful for anything and everything they are given.

 

Guerrilla Parenting: Teach your kids there is no consequences for their behavior.

Here is the first post talking about how to ensure your kids will end up on “The Bachelor” 

If you want to ensure your kids will be on the “The Bachelor”
1. Never show your daughter physical affection.
2. Teach your kids that connections are more important than commitment.
3. Teach your kids there is no consequences for their behavior.
4. Give your kids whatever they want.
5. Teach your kids that their self-worth is tied to peoples acceptance of them.

One of the things that stunned me as I watched the Bachelor for the first time was that this show really wasn’t about relationships it was about exploitation of relationships. If you have never watched the Bachelor good for you let me save you the trouble here is how it works. They pick one guy to be “The Bachelor” and then they put 20 girls in the same house. He dates them one by one, and even in groups (awkward)  and tries to get them to fall in love with him. He then sends them home one by one.

The kicker is the whole way through he tells each of them he has a “special connection” with them an then makes out with them. This happens until the final episode where two girls are left both thinking they are the one. He tells one girl goodbye and proposes to the other. The girl he says goodbye to feels like the biggest loser on earth and the girl he proposes to feels like it’s a dream come true UNTILL she has to watch an entire season of the guy she is engaged to kiss, flirt, and have “special connections” with every other girl on the show.

Actions have consequences and the result of those actions on the show is disastrous in real life. These poor people are looking for love but in all the wrong places. Why? Because no one taught them that what they do has repercussions. The Bachelor really shows you the end result of the “If it feels good do it” mentality. We need to teach our kids to borrow pain from their future to help them make wise choices today. If you want your kids to look in the right places teach your kids that actions matter.

Here is what I’m teaching my kids so this never happens to them

1. Make lots of friends with the opposite sex
2. Do not intentionally lead someone on 
3. Don’t exclusively date people at a young age
4. Treat all guys/girls with the same amount of respect you would someone you like
5. Don’t kiss a girl/guy till you know them really well – physical contact dramatically diminishes verbal engagement.  My youth pastor told me in high school – When you kiss a girl and don’t marry her you are kissing another man’s wife.
6. Don’t say things that are not true, don’t say things too soon. (Like I love you on your second date)
7. Borrow pain from your future – Think through how the things that will “feel good” today will look 10 years from now – I remember watching a movie and a boy was taking this fathers daughter out on her first date when the boy came to the door the father said “Hey everything you do to her I’m going to do to you” I laughed so hard, I thought I’m using that line when my daughter is old enough to date. Statements like that will keep a 16 year old hormonal boy up at night. We need more fathers like that. When my wife and I were dating I told her that if we ever crossed a line physically we would have to tell her father. Both knowing that was the case keept us from doing something stupid we would later regret. Teach your kids to borrow pain from the future. It will help them be wise in the present.