Stuff Kids Pastor's Like #105: Candy and Drugs.

Maybe it’s just me but I thought every good kids pastor knew the drug equivalent of candy for kids. If you have ever worked an Easter Sunday or a post Halloween weekend service you know what I am talking about. If you have been to kids camp you have walked in on kids “snorting pixie sticks.” On twitter the other night there seemed to be some confusion as to what the drug equivalent to candy was I thought it would be helpful if I did my part to clear it up.

1. Pixie Sticks = Cocaine. – If you have done even one kids camp you know what happens eventually. The double dog dare followed by the snorting of raw sugar.

2. Fun Dip = Heroine – Dipping a candy stick in powdered candy.

3. Crack Cocaine = Pop Rocks – I think eating pop rocks and drinking soda is the kid equivalent of an eight ball – may a child actor have been lost to such a dangerous combination.

4. Candy Cigarettes = Real Cigarettes – I grew up in a Pentecostal house where we 1. did NOT play with playing cards 2. We did NOT buy nor consume Candy Cigarettes.

5. Big League Chew = Chewing Tobacco – Loved this stuff especially on the bus or on the little league baseball diamond. Strangely enough we Pentecostals were allowed this sinful pleasure.

6. Crystal-Meth = Rock candy – Have you seen rock candy. I have. Meth and Rock separated at birth. (on a side note – I have never seen meth but when I imagine what “Crystal” meth looks like I think of Crystals so that’s how I came to the rock candy equivalent.)

7. LSD = Pez – I say this only because if there is any drug out there that would be dispensed from the throat of plastic cartoon characters it would be LSD. Very trippy candy.

There you have it. A beginners guide to the drug equivalent of candy. This is helpful in knowing what candy to avoid giving to your kids or if you are in a dull meeting like Kenny was the other day or in a kidmin lock-in like Jonathan does you may consider your candy of choice to help you self medicate.

A word from our sponsor – Integrity Music

One of the other sponsor of is Integrity Music. They constantly put out great music that we use in uptown with their Shout Praises Kids Series of worship music. If you don’t use any of their music you are missing out.

Earlier in the month I did a review of the SPK Curriculum and would like to give it away to a random reader.

To enter to win the SPK Curriculum tweet the following:

@samluce is giving a SPK: My Savior Lives curriculum from  over @  #kidmin

I will pick a winner on Saturday. Good luck!

50% off Bible Bucks 2.0

I am very honored and humbled to have revived the award from the Children’s Ministry Expo. To give more people a chance to use Bible Bucks 2.0 we are offering a 50% off discount for the first three months if you sign up by August 31. I have also added a video tutorial page to help people understand the basics of how to get going. If you have any questions fee free to email me [email protected] or call me 315-235-3624.

Thanks again,

What is Bible Bucks 2.0?

Bible Bucks 2.0 is honored to have won the 2010 Children’s Ministry Expo JawDrop innovation award.  In case you are not familiar with what Bible Bucks 2.0 is I thought I would do a brief blog post explaining it.

why use Bible Bucks 2.0?
I have been a kids pastor for a few years now and in the course of those years have tried everything there is to do bible bucks
1. Custom name tags with points updated for each kid by hand. (was I crazy)
2. Paper money (kids getting beat up for bible bucks in the bathroom (bible buck bullies do exist)
3. Stamp books at check in (slowed check in down massively, and books got lost and washed all the time)
4. Bible Bucks 2.0 (The Best Tool By Far)

Here are couple of posts I have done about Bible Bucks 2.0

Top 10 Kids Ministry Resources: #5 Bible Bucks 2.0

Announcing Bible Bucks 2.0!

Bible Bucks 2.0 Objections

Bible Bucks 21st Century Style.

Free Bible Lesson – Joshua "Boldness"


– Book of Boldness

Key Point – With God I am a winner
Memory Verse – Joshua 1:9 “I’ve commanded you to be strong and brave. Don’t ever be afraid or discouraged!”

Skit – Loud person vs. Quiet person – Boldness isn’t being loud it is the stand you take have a bully be loud take things from other kids a quite kid stands up to the bully. Tell the bully that it isn’t right to do what he is doing the bully starts crying and asks for forgiveness the quiet kid prays with the bully, and explains that being bold is not being loud or mean but it is standing up for what is right.

Skit – What makes you bold – things or Jesus – Some people think that boldness comes from what they have not who they know. Have two rich kids come out very proud of all their toys explain that they are bold because they have so many things. Then a boy comes out and has no toys but is even more happy than they are this confuses them so they ask how he can be so bold and so happy without any toys, the boy explains because he has Jesus. With God we are winners.

Object Lesson – With God I’m a wiener – comes out thinking that with God we are all hot dogs. Have a not-so-bright person come out eating a few hot dogs. The MC will ask why he is eating hot dogs for? The not-so-bright person will say he doesn’t know. The MC will ask if he likes hot dogs the not-so-bright person will say no. The MC will ask why he is eating so many if he doesn’t like them? The not-so-bright person will explain that he heard the MC say that with Jesus we are wieners. The MC will explain to the not-so-bright person that he didn’t say wieners but WINNERS meaning bold and victorious.

Puppet – Puppet is sad because Jesus wants him bald. MC explains that he needs to be bold to stand up for Jesus. The MC explains that Jesus wants us to be BOLD which means we know that with Jesus we are a winner. The bible never tells us that Jesus wants us bald. The puppet is relieved.

Bible Story

Joshua 6:1 Joshua takes Jericho –
Joshua 6
1 Now Jericho was tightly shut up because of the Israelites. No one went out and no one came in.
2 Then the LORD said to Joshua, “See, I have delivered Jericho into your hands, along with its king and its fighting men. 3 March around the city once with all the armed men. Do this for six days. 4 Have seven priests carry trumpets of rams’ horns in front of the ark. On the seventh day, march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the trumpets. 5 When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have all the people give a loud shout; then the wall of the city will collapse and the people will go up, every man straight in.”
6 So Joshua son of Nun called the priests and said to them, “Take up the ark of the covenant of the LORD and have seven priests carry trumpets in front of it.” 7 And he ordered the people, “Advance! March around the city, with the armed guard going ahead of the ark of the LORD.”
8 When Joshua had spoken to the people, the seven priests carrying the seven trumpets before the LORD went forward, blowing their trumpets, and the ark of the LORD’s covenant followed them. 9 The armed guard marched ahead of the priests who blew the trumpets, and the rear guard followed the ark. All this time the trumpets were sounding. 10 But Joshua had commanded the people, “Do not give a war cry, do not raise your voices, do not say a word until the day I tell you to shout. Then shout!”11 So he had the ark of the LORD carried around the city, circling it once. Then the people returned to camp and spent the night there.
12 Joshua got up early the next morning and the priests took up the ark of the LORD.13 The seven priests carrying the seven trumpets went forward, marching before the ark of the LORD and blowing the trumpets. The armed men went ahead of them and the rear guard followed the ark of the LORD, while the trumpets kept sounding. 14 So on the second day they marched around the city once and returned to the camp. They did this for six days.
15 On the seventh day, they got up at daybreak and marched around the city seven times in the same manner, except that on that day they circled the city seven times. 16The seventh time around, when the priests sounded the trumpet blast, Joshua commanded the people, “Shout! For the LORD has given you the city! 17 The city and all that is in it are to be devoted [a] to the LORD. Only Rahab the prostitute [b] and all who are with her in her house shall be spared, because she hid the spies we sent. 18But keep away from the devoted things, so that you will not bring about your own destruction by taking any of them. Otherwise you will make the camp of Israel liable to destruction and bring trouble on it. 19 All the silver and gold and the articles of bronze and iron are sacred to the LORD and must go into his treasury.”
20 When the trumpets sounded, the people shouted, and at the sound of the trumpet, when the people gave a loud shout, the wall collapsed; so every man charged straight in, and they took the city.

How was Joshua Bold?

He asked God what to do? If we want to live bold lives we need to start by asking God what he wants us to do? Lots of times we forget this infact the next city Joshua tried to take after Jericho was Ai and Joshua for got to ask God what to do and you know what happened. He made a big mistake. If we want to make wise choices we need to start by asking God what he wants us to do.
He Did What God told him. When God tells us to do something we need to be obedient. We need to do what he tells us to do. Boldness comes in knowing that we are doing the right thing even before we do it. Because if God has told us to do it and it matches up with the Bible we can be 100% sure we are doing the right thing.
How can you be bold? – You can be bold by asking God to speak to you and tell you what to do? How does God speak to you? Through your parents, through pastors and leaders, and through the bible. Let’s practice right now. Everyone close your eyes. We are going to ask God to help us be bold. I want us to all be quite and listen for what God says. (give the kids about a minute) Alright everyone who felt they heard God speak to them? If you had a thought that you should tell your parents that you love them, that is God speaking to you because the bible says we are to honor our mom’s and dad’s. How about punch your brother in the face? Absolutely not the bible says we are to love our neighbors and that includes our family. So today ask your Mom and Dad, pray and ask God what God wants you to do to be bold. Then Do it!

Joshua – Small Group

Activity – Stain remover pen (relabel it bold stain remover) – When we get sin stains in our life the only thing that will take it out is Jesus Christ. Put a stain on a piece of clothing and explain how when we sin it takes away our boldness. Use the bold pen on the cloth and explain that because Jesus died on the cross for our sins we can come boldly before God throne and find grace in our time of need. Because of Jesus was Bold and listened to His Father We can be bold and live a life that pleases him.

What does it mean to be Bold?
Should Christians be bold?
What is the difference between being bold and being mean?
Who helps us be bold?
What can you do to be more  bold?
Was Jesus bold?
What makes us bold?
How can we tell others about Jesus if we aren’t bold?