I Hate Church Signs!

I hate church signs. What is the point. I think in everything we do we need to keep in mind who are we trying to reach. I would love to hear from someone who drove by a church sign that said “Tired of being a loser turn to God” and they said “yes I am a loser what must I do to be saved.” 

I think that most people in most churches want to reach people who don’t know God. Although some signs would lead you to believe different.

I believe church signs are for information not inflammation. They are not for cute sayings that make other Christians laugh and people who are not Christians YET angry.

 They are not for clever sayings to make us feel like we are fulfilling the great commission. I don’t understand why people do this? We are eternally offending the people God has called us to reach.

 This is like:

1. A McDonalds employee saying “Good morning fat slob, can I suggest you leave and go get something healthy but you can stay if you want.”

2. A Walmart employee saying “Good luck with all this cheap stuff, you must be poor and stupid.”

3. A computer salesman saying to a potential customer “(Laughing) Your looking for a what. You don’t even look could operate a calculator.”

  Churches put out signs like this and wonder why God isn’t sending people to their church, and why no one is getting saved.


Maybe because you are marketing yourself and you don’t even know it. Ask someone they will tell you “Oh, you go to the church with crazy sign.”

I don’t want to go to that church ever.  I want to go to one where life change happens. I want to where my kids will love church. I want to go to a church that says they care about people looking for God and actually do.

For more funny church signs click here

21st Centry Allowance

I remember all the way back to the 20th century, I got my allowance in cold hard cash…..for one week. I never really got an allowance but learned a lot about elbow grease. Both my parents were and are hard workers so I have yet to decided how and if and when my young children will receive allowance, but if I was giving them allowance now I would check out this application I came across on Techcrunch.

I think as children’s pastors and children’s workers it is our job to help parents not try to replace parents. So for all you parents out there check it out. For all you children’s workers check it out so you can help give tools to your parents to better do their job, because as I am finding out. More kids = less time for anything.

payjr.jpgPAYjr teaches kids how to earn money responsibly while helping parents manage the

allocation of household chores. PAYjr offers an allowance and chore system that allows parents to assign household chores online, designate a money value for those chores, and provide a financial reward when chores are successfully completed. PAYjr supports instant messaging, e-mail and text messaging to notify children when their parents assign new chores or when money has been deposited into their PAYjr account or other savings account. Likewise PAYjr notifies parents when a chore has been completed, building up a record of chores over time.

PAYjr is sort of a CRM billing system for the family. The use of online tracking applied to kid’s chores is a good idea, adding support for TXT and IM makes it better again. Parents with kids looking for a different way of managing the allocation of chores will like PAYjr.

Things to NEVER say in front of your childrens pastor

Karl Bastian “The Kidologist” has a great website with lots of stuff for children’s workers. I joined his site and have benefited greatly. I urge you to check his site out. He has lots of helpful tips, some are practical and some are very humorous. I decided to take one of his list and feature it here. I did a similar one a couple of weeks ago. I hope you laugh, enjoy and learn.


  • Do you think you’ll have a real ministry someday?
  • When I was growing up in church, we didn’t need to have fun.
  • What do you do with all that money the board gives you?
  • You’re disturbing the MAIN service.
  • Choir members shouldn’t have to work in the nursery.
  • How come VBS is only five days long?
  • I don’t think anyone will mind if we add another worship service.
  • Just announce it in the bulletin if you need more workers.
  • After church lets out, I need to talk to someone; just keep my kids in children’s church for a while until I get back.
  • My kid says you won’t even last as long as the last one.


  • They are just Kids.
  • Can you just show the kids a movie.
  • What do you do during the week?
  • I can’t teach, this week. I really need to be in church.
  • You are supplying childcare right?
  • Take your time picking up your kids, they are having a great time.
  • I think our worship service should be longer.
  • Here is the BIG churches old sound board. I doesn’t work to good. You can use it for the kids!
  • What if i miss out on something in Big church?
  • I only come for the candy.
  • Our kids get more out of the adult service so, we keep them with us.