One of the greatest things I got out of Infuse was a good ole fashion verbal butt woopen from Bro Jim. I went to a “Spend-a-week” Conference with Bro Jim and I didn’t even say Hi to him. I never asked a question and I never waited to speak to anyone. I always felt I would be bothering him or other speakers at a conference. I have learned that isn’t true at all and honestly it’s changed everything.
CS Lewis says “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”
I decided that I was going to get over myself and grow. Here is where we have add a disclaimer we have to know why we want to grow. If you are talking to Reggie Joiner because you want to impress him. Do you need affirmation Reggie that you can and should only find in Christ or do you want to learn from Reggie because you want to be a more capable servant.
As I have stepped out and decided the more influence I gain by Gods grace is for his glory God has opened more doors. I don’t want to be Christian famous I want to be the best leader I can be in the church God has planted me. We shy away from growth out of false humility. We fear others will think we are pestering or kissing up. Growth happens on purpose not on accident.
Why do you think your church sends you to a conference or to Infuse? So you will grow. You don’t grow just by listening to someone speak then take those notes and try to do them in your context. You grow by digging deep wrestling with the truths you have heard, asking clarifying questions and working through how that truth would look in your context then asking people like brother Jim if what your thinking is right. We don’t do that because it’s work. We want someone to do all the work for us. You will never grow as a leader if you don’t do the work.
I am not the same leader I was 7 years ago because I started asking questions, because I got over myself because I started to realize that If I can grow as a leader and I can lead from a place no one expects I will bring Glory to God because I am reminded that It’s His grace and when I grow where I am planted people ask how did that happen I can point to grace because it’s all grace.
The last 7 years have been the most crushing most tiring most exciting years of my life because I began to realize that I had a me centered theology that I constructed God in my own image and made Him FAR to safe. Stop living a safe life. Stop living a life where you don’t need to trust. Get over yourself and glorify God in your leadership you will never regret it. Never.
Why ask good questions?
1. They help you see what you don’t see
2. They help learn what you don’t know
3. They reveal a lot about you.
4. Questions force you to listen more than you speak.
5. You rarely learn things while you are talking.
6. Good questions should lead to even better questions.
How to ask good questions.
1. Don’t ask a question you can google.
2. If you don’t know what to ask, ask people about themselves
3. Think of your questions before you need them.
4. Write questions down as they come to you. Find a way to capture questions as they come – I use Evernote and keep a list for general questions or if I know I am going to meet with my pastor, Jim or another leader I will write questions I want to ask so I make the most of our time and not wasting it on small talk.
5 comments On 3 things I learned from Infuse: Ask Good Questions
Sam, would you ever consider posting your list of Evernote questions?
I don’t usually keep them and some are rather specific to a person. I’ll look.
I have adopted some questions that came from Michael Hyatt’s blog that I keep in Evernote for whenever I meet a leader who I have not had the proper time to prepare for but want to make sure I seize the opportunity: http://bit.ly/Hyatt_questions
Sam, I just read on Maxwell’s blog ( http://bit.ly/maxwell_questions ) a good post where he says about asking questions: “If you want to be successful and reach your leadership potential, you need to embrace asking questions as a lifestyle. Because you only get answers to the questions you ask.”
Good post and I always enjoy running into same type of good thoughts from various sources.
Thanks for the links Todd I’ll check them out for sure.
Todd, those are really helpful links. Thank you.