Chris Spradlin over at EpicParent.tv wrote a great post about Tattling vs. Telling. I love his take in encouraging our kids not to tattle we need to also let them know when to tell. Read it here.
I have had a few parents ask abou the issue of tattling. I thought I would address it in my Guerrilla guide.
At the Luce house you are tattling if you are telling Mom and Dad about something that you haven’t tried to resolve first. In our quest to be fair and keep the peace with our kids we are not teaching our kids to be problem solvers. What we are teaching them to be are whiners.
What does this look like?
Boy #1 is repeating everything boy #2 is saying. Boy #2 is frustrated and he comes and tells mom and dad that Boy #1 won’t stop copying him. Dad says “Did you tell him to stop” Boy #2 “No” – That in our home is tattling.
Boy #1 is repeating everything boy #2 is saying. Boy #2 is frustrated and he comes and tells mom and dad that Boy #1 won’t stop copying him. Dad says “Did you tell him to stop” Boy #2 “Yes and he still won’t stop” – That in our home is telling. Totally permitted. Teaching kids to speak up does two things. It teachings the kid who is frustrated to learn how to create boundaries. It helps the kid who is being annoying that they need to respect others if they are going to achieve anything in life.
We need to give our kids the tools they will need in life and help them be problem solvers. Stepping in and solving conflict FOR your kids helps no one.