Today is the two year anniversary of one of the worst days of my life. I remember getting a phone call two years ago that a 5 year old boy in our kids ministry was being rushed to the hospital. I jumped in my car and started to pray. I got to the hospital just minutes after he passed away.
I have never felt anything like I felt as I walked into the ER that day.
I grew up in church my whole life. I was in a church culture that implied that you do not question God because that was doubt and doubt is evil. I have come to understand that God is not surprised by our questions and he is not shaken by our doubts.
I have come over the course of the past two years to realize that faith not touched by doubt is unrealistic. I think that doubt tracks along with faith and the depth of faith is never realized until you are challenged by doubt.
I am so challenged by the faith and love demonstrated by this little boys family. I have watched them walkout their faith, I have prayed with them and cried with them many times. I have seen a faith in them that to this day I wonder if I would have. I still struggle with Trusting God at times. I still think of that boy almost everyday. I now recognize that I don’t know as much as I once thought I did.
And you know what I think that God is just fine with that.
To all who mourn in Israel, he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the LORD has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory. NLT
Here is a link to a post I did a year ago about talking to kids about death.