Discipleship is something parents and pastors need to take seriously and engage in together. When I first started in kids ministry over twenty years ago, the primary discipleship of children was the responsibility of the church. Over the past ten years or so the pendulum has swung from the church being primary to the church pushing parents to be primary in the discipleship of their kids and the church cheering them on. The result has been in my opinion less discipleship.
The answer to the discipleship of the next generation is not either or but both and. How can the church be intentional about discipline kids and how can parents make church an important aspect of their kids lives because of that. At the same time, how can parents disciple their kids more intentionally and how can the church resource and encourage that?
Why church discipleship is necessary
If you crush whatever initiative you set up for parents to do at home, you will only get at best 25% to 30% participation leaving 70% without the benefit of your discipleship resource. If we only view discipleship as parent driven and avoid things like VBS and other church driven initiatives many kids will miss out. Another issue we need to address is some kids come to church with grandparents or friends, and their parents will never be the primary disciplers of their kids. As kids grow, their friends will have more influence on them than their parents. As a community of faith, we need to provide a place where kids can grow in their faith even if it isn’t a value at home.
Why home discipleship is necessary
The modern America family is more transient than ever. People move to different states, different churches, different denominations like never before in history. We may never have them long enough to develop their kids and nurture their faith so we need resources they can take with them on the journey. Particularly early in life parents have more influence than anyone else on who their kids are becoming. Parents need encouragement and help.
Here are some things we try to do at our church to disciple kids.
- New City Catechism each week from preschool to college.
- Story-Based Discipleship class for Jr. High Kids.
- Small Groups
- Worldview/Theology Immersion Week
Here are some things you can try at home to disciple your kids.
- Family Worship – We use this book at our house.
- New City Catechism – Why Catechism?
- Reading Classic Works with your kids – Leland Ryken has some great books to help you navigate the classics – Also Karen Swallow Prior’s new book would be helpful
- Spirit led conversations
- Student Discipleship Guide
The goal of discipleship is not what we do to be acceptable to God but rather how is our conformity into the image of God affecting our life and practice. How are we intentionally forming the loves of our kid’s hearts? James K. A. Smith says it this way
“Jesus is a teacher who doesn’t just inform our intellect but forms our very loves. He isn’t content to simply deposit new ideas into your mind; he is after nothing less than your wants, your loves, your longings.”
This happens on purpose, not on accident. Not overnight but over time. May we as pastors and parents be curators of hearts rather than only informers of intellects.
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It would be good to give Deut 6:4-7 a mention when tackling this topic
In 2017, we surveyed men and asked them one question: ‘Who is primarily responsible for the spiritual growth and dvelopment of your children’ and they answered …
53% Dad with Mom’s Help
27% Mom and Dad Equally
13% Mom, Dad and the Church Youth Ministry Equally
4% Mom with Dad’s Help
3% Church Youth Ministry with Parent’s Help