My Life as a Twitter Fugitive.

Well the last few hours have been interesting. I am no longer a twitter fugitive. I have been fully reinstated but being reinstated alone does not heal or repair the significant amount of emotional trauma I experienced. I have since been approached by Random House publishers to write a book on my ordeal. (Not really, but the fact you believed me says something about our culture.)

Here is the outline I would submit on “Things I Have Learned As A Twitter Fugitive.”

1. Submit a support ticket to Twitter pleading your cause.

2. Leverage your community. Begin a grass roots campaign to have people vouch for you as a spammer has no one to vouch for them.

3. Have multiple accounts – I have 10 or so that can help assail twitterverse.

4. Remove all junk food from the house as that is where many people turn for comfort. This is also a forthcoming chapter in a Thin Man’s Guide

5. If you don’t have multiple accounts make sure you use old school methods to get the word out, like phoning a friend, texting or emailing someone on twitter to get the word out.

6. Make sure your aviator is full clothed.

7. Try to twitter meaningful content so people actually want to have you back from Twitter hell.

8. You are not allowed to Name squat. (I.E. you can’t sign up as Michael Jackson and twitter random thoughts from the grave) Many people made lots money from squatting on domains. That is not permitted in Twitter.

9. Lastly more than Technology is not an end in itself but a means to an end. I truly believe you can build and sustain meaningful relationships online. Thanks to all who held a virtual candle light vigil. And to Bono for the charity concert. To @chicowoo for organizing it all.

Thanks for everyone who helped me fight for my twitter freedom. #freesamluce

4 comments On My Life as a Twitter Fugitive.

  • Very Funny. Thanks for the humor on a Monday where I am very tired and have a very busy week.

    Glad to have you back in the twitter family.

  • Oh the drama. This was funny. If it hadn’t happened to a handful of others, I’d think this was a publicity stunt.

  • Glad you’re back. I was getting worried for a second. But I have to admit seeing a hashtag with freesamluce and freejonathancliff is pretty hilarious.

  • Man, I just got 5,000 t-shirts made that have a little twitter bird in a cage that say “#freesamluce” under it. What am I going to do with all of these?! I was sure there would be some kind of vigil…

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