Mothers day is a bittersweet day. It is filled with sweet memories of moms who daily listen and selflessly give of themselves in the middle of the mundane. Mother’s day is also a painful reminder of loss. The loss felt when observing those celebrating around you, the mothers you wish your mom always was. The mothers being honored by the kids you will never have.
Family is God’s idea. Mothers are a necessary reflection of who God is and what God is like. Jesus wept over his people and wanted to gather Jerusalem under his protective wing like a mother hen. There is a protective self-giving love that we all long to know. For many of us, we found that in our mothers. Our fathers told us to get up and get back on our bike as they should have. Our mothers bandage our knees and kiss our imaginary wounds.
Motherhood is not easy in a world that continues to push the value of things that are shiny then rust. What our culture doesn’t value but desperately needs is the love security and safety of moms who have learned to trust God in the mundane.
I remember when I was young. I didn’t understand loss. I didn’t understand why moms would tear up on mother’s day. Sandra and I lost our first baby. It was devastating. I think of our baby girl often. I used to think when mom’s lost a baby, they can try again. I now know that each of those babies has a name. Each of those babies is a loss. Mothers day reminds us of what we have but also of what we have lost.
If mother’s day is hard for you. If you have lost a mother or never had one. The gospel gives you hope. You are loved by God with such brilliant love such that even the love of the best mother is only a shadow in His brilliance. The love we experience on earth is but a foretaste. The loss we experience on earth creates a longing for a better world. A world where all the sad things about this world become untrue.
The song “Always” by JJ Heller is a beautiful lament of the joys and losses the fill and break a mother’s heart.
You are the answer to the prayers I prayed.
And the hope in childhood games I played.
Pushing baby dolls in strollers
And dreaming of who you would beYou are the news I celebrated
That little blue line exclamation
Got me dancing in my bare feet
And I couldn’t help but sing.You will always be my baby
You will always have my love
I will always, always be your mother
AlwaysYou are the reason I was holding on.
Somehow I knew you were already gone.
So many questions without answers
‘Cause only God knows whyNow I think I’ve cried a million tears.
For all the laughter, we will never hear.
We lost you in the silence.
Before you had a chance to cryYou will always be my baby
You will always have my love
I will always, always be your mother
AlwaysAnd I would…
JJ Heller
To mothers and the motherless on this mother’s day. May you find in Christ what no mother on earth could provide. Run to Jesus. He is more than enough.
1 comments On Motherhood and Loss.
Wow, Sam, this is beautiful. I never knew you and Sandra lost a baby girl, and I am so sorry. Thank you for bringing the reminder that as culture tells us to “run after the things that are shiny then rust”, God tells us to focus on the things that are eternal. Thank you for bringing words of comfort and healing to for those with longing hearts.