The 24 laws of Jack Bauer's 24

We are fast approaching another season of 24 I feel it is my duty to fill you in on what will take place in the 24 episodes that comprise this years 24.

As many of you know I am a cynical former fan of the hit show 24. I loved the show for the first 5 seasons it had great writing, plot twists and acting. I thought I would save you all 24 hours of TV viewing should you want saving.

24 laws of 24

1. Former cast members playing bad guys are usually undercover
2. Any convoy transporting anyone to or from CTU has a 90% chance of being attacked
3. Any person transporting Jack to CTU in cuffs but removes them to honor Jack has 100% of being hit in the head with a blunt object
4. Jacks daughter will always put herself in harms way through a blatant lack of common sense
5. Jack’s love interest will be captured at least once per season
6. A bomb will be set somewhere in NY
7. Any CTU agent  that goes on a raid with Jack and has not been given a name will die.
8. Never go to the server room for ANY reason
9. Jack never eats, sleeps, or pees
10. To help you keep track of the moles 1.Always one in the White house 2. Always 2 in CTU 3. Always 1 close to Jack personally
11. Chloe will not smile all day.
12. If there was a daytime Emmy for Actress most likely to make you want to stab your eye with a sharp object it would be the woman who plays the current president.
13. Jack will never die there are movies that need to be made.
14. There are always at least 3 moles per season.
15. Finding the mole is easy – look for the most obvious person and it’s not that person.
16. Everyone proudly uses a sprint phone (and mind you sprint phones work everywhere)
17. Jack Bauer has more presidential pardons than 3rd world countries have power plants
18. If you are new to 24 wiki “socket” and “encryption
19. If you are a President and Aaron is not your bodyguard you are so 1st season
20. Jack Bauer whispers a-lot
21. The two most dangerous modes of transportation on 24 1. Police Convoy and 2. Mass Transit. (Take a cab)
22. Jacks Friends and Girlfriends either die or get arrested at least once per show
23. The CTU ringtone gets VERY annoying around season 4
24. Jack will die and be revived via an epinephrine shot at least once per season.

If you are new to 24 I am sorry that you missed it when the writers actually knew what they were doing. My Best Advice for you is to turn you TV off go to the Video store and rent season 1.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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9 thoughts on “The 24 laws of Jack Bauer's 24

    • I can not stand the new President she is the unfortunate combination of bad writing and even worse acting. I still watch but mostly to tweet my incredulity. Although it is a shadow of what it was it still does have some entertainment value. I do enjoy know what is going to happen next based on watching every season so far.

  1. Ha! You're such a cynic… but it's true. 24 hasn't gotten bad enough yet for me to stop watching it like Hero's did this season. Plus, I know what you twitter during 24… I'll keep your secret. 😉

    • The first 5 seasons or so were unbelievable. You should break them out. I think there was a falling out with some of the original writers around season 5 or 6 and the show has suffered because of it. To bad it was the best show on TV hands down.

  2. haha, great post!
    I gave up after season 2 on DVD when i realised it's pretty much the same storyline time and time again with different bad guys (and apparently a new president!) :+)