When something touching an idol in our lives the three most common reactions are anger, fear, and despair. When something we love more than we should is shaken we respond in anger, fear, and despair which each, in turn, drives us deeper into our idolatrous behavior.
For example, when I was growing up I was not ok in life if others didn’t approve of me and like me. It is something I struggle with to this day. Although by God grace I struggle less today because of the power of Gospel at work in me daily. When I was growing up if someone didn’t like me I felt despair. I would do everything in my power to help them see that I was fun, kind and an all-around good person. I would sacrifice time with people who actually liked me because I need to be liked by everyone. The more I was around these people the more fear and despair I felt.
One of the things that I found as a leader that if you want to continue to grow you need to read books, and not just any book you need to read good books. The problem I have found is there are so many books out there many are great some not so great. A good book should feel like a conversation. Books give you the ability to have a conversation with people you will likely never meet. Great books do that. One of the best strategies I have found to find a good book then read the books by the people they recommend and quote often. Here is a list of 12 good books to get you started.
True Spirituality – Francis Schaeffer
Prodigal God – Tim Keller
Mere Christianity – CS Lewis
Pilgrims Progress – John Bunyon
Confessions – St. Augustine
Reclaiming Conversation – Sherry Turkle
Leadership and Self-Deception – Arbinger Institute
The Call To Joy and Pain – Ajith Fernando
How to Read a Book – Mortimer J Adler
Unbroken – Laura Hillenbrand
Amazing Grace – Eric Metaxas
Bonhoeffer – Eric Metaxas
Let me be frank. Multi-site is not easy and is not for everyone. I have hated it at times and am thankful at other times. One of the things I love about multi-site is it forces you to grow, invest in and pray for more leaders. Sometimes people will call asking about Multi-site kids ministry I always tell them we have far from figured it out. Here are the other six things I tell them.
1. Two sites will stretch your parents more than you. Three sites plus will stretch you and your staff more than your parents.
2. There is no perfect model. Everyone has a different take. What you need is not a model to follow but clarity from your pastor on his desire and what that looks like in the context of your church.
3. Multi-site is hardest on the kids ministry because of the massive amounts of leaders and infrastructure need to pull off a Sunday. Once your pastor does one location start planning for five.
4. You have to be more sure of your values they need to be more clear and more simple than ever before.
5. You need a point person staff or volunteer who you trust and who understands the churches DNA and understands you and how you work.
6. You need to trust God more than ever because it really is bigger than you. One site you can manage but get to three or four and your God dependence gets greater. A greater dependence on the work of the Holy spirit and our trust in a God who works all things according to the counsel of His will in our kids ministry has been by far the best thing to come out of our multi-site experience.
12 years in and as we start our 5th campus I still have much to learn.
This week marks nine years blogging. It’s crazy to think of all the change that has taken place in our world and in our family in the past nine years. As I think back over those nine years I think of the things that I only could have learned by blogging.
- Starting is always the scariest part of most everything – It was scary to start blogging. It was scary to make myself vulnerable enough to write what I was thinking, learning and failing at. It still is scary.
There are few things more intimidating in life than a blank page and blinking cursor. How do you beat this fear? Start typing.
- Consistency was my biggest challenge. When starting a blog or most things in life you have to be consistent. Pushing through bloggers block was tough till I created a system for ideas and then learned how to make old ideas new. Most bloggers don’t survive because of a lack of consistency, not because of lack of good ideas or content. There are many of you out there reading this that need to start blogging. You should. How consistent should you be? I think to start out you need to do three times a week for a couple of years till ideas and execution become reflexive.
Everyone is a critic. Don’t believe me? Go on-line to Facebook or twitter during an awards show. Don’t believe me? Ask someone how they feel about a local restaurant, if they like your new haircut, and where you should go on vacation.
We all love to share our opinion. We love it when people ask what we think. Where we tend to have a hard time is when people share their opinion with us. Especially when that opinion is different than ours or when it is aimed at us specifically.
Everyone is a critic but no one likes to be criticized.
One of the best things we can do when others criticize you is to take a look at yourself and ask what does this criticism tell me about me?Here are some of the things that I have found in my life criticism tells me about me.
1. It shows me the things in my life that I hold onto more tightly than I do Christ. – The things that matter to me more than anything else hurt far more when they are poked at by others.
2. It reminds me that I need to care what others think about me but not how often they think about me. We need to care about others but not to the point that our identity and security is informed by what they think about me.
3. It helps me find a joy that is real. It frees me from the need to be loved by others. Jesus said in Luke:
Luke 6:26 26 “Woe to you, when all people speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets.
4. Criticism allows me to a small extent identify with Christ. He was rejected by God and man for us. He was separated from his father so we never have to be. The problem with most of us is we exchange beauty and honor of partaking even in a small portion of the suffering Christ experienced on our behalf because we value comfort and the opinions of man.
1 Peter 4:12-14
“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; 13 but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing; so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation. 14 If you are reviled for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.