Teach your kids that connections are more important than commitment

If you want to ensure your kids will be on the “The Bachelor”
1. Never show your daughter physical affection.
2. Teach your kids that connections are more important than commitment.
3. Teach your kids there is no consequences for their behavior.
4. Give your kids whatever they want.
5. Teach your kids that their self-worth is tied to people’s acceptance of them.

The next thing ever parent must do to ensure that their kids will end up on “The Bachelor” is teach them that connections are more important than commitment.

If you have watched more than one episode of The Bachelor I know that you will join me in a collective gagging sound whenever you hear the word “Connection.”  They use it ALL the time. “I feel like we have such a strong connection.” “I feel like we really connected, our connection is so different from the rest of the girls here” It’s so shallow and such a travesty that we have reduced a monogamous committed marriage between a man and a woman to  goose-bumps felt over a glass of champagne.

In The Bachelor this guy dates all these girls telling each of them that he feels a “real connection” with each of them, they all fall in love with him and he sends them home devastated because no one taught them a connection is not a commitment. Our culture preaches if it feels good do it, divorce is always an option and that falling out of love is as easy as falling into love. We have to change that for our kids.

Never show your daughter physical affection.

If you want to ensure your kids will be on the “The Bachelor”
1. Never show your daughter physical affection.
2. Teach your kids that connections are more important than commitment.
3. Teach your kids there is no consequences for their behavior.
4. Give your kids whatever they want.
5. Teach your kids that their self-worth is tied to people’s acceptance of them.

One of the biggest problems in our country is fatherlessness. Now am I advocating that every girl that comes from a fatherless home will have problems in life? Absolutely not. What I am advocating is that as a father I want to do everything I can do to ensure that my baby girl grows up with a healthy view of men and woman.

As a father with your kids you have a very real and very sober responsibility to teach your kids what a real man is like. 

As a dad you are your sons first hero and your daughters first love. If you stop and think about it there is literally not a place in our culture that shows a positive view of men and especially fathers. Every example I can think of is stupid, dopey, irrelevant and aloof.

Ask Tim Keller Transcript via @Cambassador21

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Questions from yesterdays Ask Tim Keller courtesy of Cameron Moore follow him on twitter at @Cambassador21

Ask TK 7/28/14

Q: Favorite puritan?
TK: That’s easy, John Owens because Jonathan Edwards is not technically a Puritan.

Q: Favorite Lewis book?
TK: Another easy one: Mere Christianity.

Q: What is your opinion of “praying in tongues”?
TK: I like Don Carson’s book “Showing the Spirit” on this one. Balanced, thoughtful, and rooted in Scripture.

Q: Was there ever a point in the last several years that you questioned your role in ministry? TK: When Kathy was sick a few years ago, I questioned if I should leave ministry for a while.

Q: Do you envision a time where we will see a “consolidation” of Christian denominations? church seems too fragmented
TK: As long as The Church strives for both unity AND purity there will always be denominations.

Q: Shake Shack or In­N­Out?
TK: Easy, Shake Shack in NYC. Better quality meat.

Q: Advice for young educators? (I teach English lit to 12­17 year olds)
TK: Similar to a question last time: At that age they need Christianity modeled more than explained.­­Doesn’t have to be Christian education, just modeling your faith is important for 12­17 year olds.

Q: Favorite Doctor [Who]?
TK: David Tennant. Bonus: Favorite episode is “Blink.” Of course.

Q: Have you read Harry Potter­ if yes, did you like them… If no­ why not?
TK: Yes loved them, great examples of sacrificial love conquering evil reminds me of another story.

Q: Favorite coffee shop in NYC?
TK: None. I don’t drink coffee. I’m a Harney and sons Tea kind of guy, not to mention PG Tips.

Q: Most influential book on pastoring?
TK: Charles Bridges “The Christian Ministry” and Richard Baxter’s “The Reformed Pastor” and William Still’s book on pastoring

Q: What is your favorite movie?
TK: The Black Stallion

Reality Rant.

When it comes to watching TV I generally like reality shows more than dramas or even comedies. I have seen almost every episode of Survivor and Amazing race, I really like undercover boss and occasionally watch extreme home makeover and the biggest loser. All of which I really enjoy, mostly because I think real life more often produces a better story line than some writer stuck in a room trying to come up with something. Bad writing drives me crazy, which lead to my eventual hatrad for the show “24” started off great ended horrible.

Last winter for some odd reason I got hooked on the Bachelor, not sure why but most likely it was because one of the girls on the show lost her husband and found out that she was pregnate in the same day. In the end Brad (The Bachelor) picked her and it was a fairy tail ending or so we thought until the after show. After the show they brought out all the couples that “made” it to give them advice on how to survive after the show. Only one couple was married and made it two were engaged without a date for a show about getting married that’s really bad. 22 seasons and 1 happy couple, nice.

I then remember from watching survivor that there has been at least 5 or 6 happy couples as a result of being on survivor. Survivor is a show where you have to outwit, outlast and outplay everyone else on the show. How has a show where you try to outlast and outplay everyone produce more long term relationships than a show that is supposed to be all about finding that perfect someone.

The difference I believe is that when you are stuck on an island you have no option than to be who you really are. There are no limo rides and fancy dinners at the top of the eiffel tower. You aren’t kissing 20 girls to find the one while leading 3 or 4 on the whole show.

I watched one episode last week of the Bachelorette, words can not describe how horrible that episode was. The Bachelorette was being “roasted” by the guys on the show it was horrible. As someone who really likes reality TV and as an American the Bachelor and Bachelorette are an embarrassment. It is so sad that the producers on that show care more about ratings and creating drama for ratings than they do about truly providing a happy ending for anyone related to the show. I will never watch another episode of that awful show. Exploiting the very desire God put with each of us to love and be loved is unforgivable in my book.

While watching the show I tweeted this:

“If any of my kids ever go on the Bachelor or Bachelorette I will have failed as a parent. What an awful show.”

I guess the bottom line is if you want to fall in love go on a show about lying and cheating for a million dollars if you want to be betrayed go on a show about finding your one true love.