Here is an excerpt from an article about being a self-feeder I wrote for K! Magazine. If you don’t subscribe you need to.

Being a self-feeder is a must for any growing healthy Christian.  It is even more essential for those involved in leading kids. We are often in that position of giving out and pouring into kids and families. Without learning this principle we will dry up and burn out. It’s imperative that we not neglect our own spiritual growth. So what does it look like “to fill your own tank”?  Here’s a few things you can do:

Read Your Bible

It’s not a textbook for ministry, but a guidebook for your personal life. It’s huge. Something that I find intimidating, if not down right frightening, is the fact that you reproduce who you are. I want to make sure I can say to those I am leading, “Follow me as I follow Christ.” We live in an amazing time in history, and yet we face some very unique and serious challenges.

One of the challenges we need to overcome is how to produce young people who are passionate about the Bible. There are a million things vying for our attention; we are bombarded by information. Our kids have more options today than we ever had growing up.  That is why we need to be more intentional than ever about reading our bibles.

One of the best ways to get our kids reading their Bibles is to read our Bibles. I think the more we model this to our kids, the more we are going to be able to give them a biblical answer when they need one. The more we read our bibles, the more we are going to shape their world view.  As a result, they will see the value of God’s word in their daily lives. I think we do our kids a huge disservice by treating the Bible as a textbook only to be studied or a storybook to entertain. I think we need to model the Bible to our kids as a handbook for life. If we don’t read it, they won’t read it.

Listen to Podcasts

I am not in the auditorium sitting and listening to the pastor’s sermon very often and when I am, I struggle with my ability to focus on what is being said because my thoughts so often drift to my kids and volunteers. One of the things I have found over the years to help me is to listen to messages during the week when I am able to listen without interruption. I try to get podcasts from my church and from many different leaders from around the country. I have to admit I am like a 13 year old girl buying concert tickets to Hannah Montana, when I am downloading Andy Stanley’s leadership podcast. If you are in ministry and don’t listen to Andy’s podcast – shame on you! Either way, find some podcasts of leaders you like and leaders who stretch you, and you will grow.

Practice Transparent Faith

This could be a whole article in itself, but I think another sign of maturity is transparency. Accountability has been a buzz word for years, and I believe it is very important, but I think as a leader of kids in today’s culture you need to practice, model and teach transparent faith. I grew up in church, and I honestly can’t ever remember any of my pastors talking about a personal struggle, a failure or misstep they had made. Do I think we as leaders should talk openly about everything we are dealing with? No. I do think that creating a healthy church environment starts by doing what James tells us to do: confess our sins to each other that we may be healed.

I often tell kids that there are times when I don’t feel like coming to church. Why do I say this? Because it’s the truth, and the more I can model transparent faith, the greater chance we will have of creating a community that also values it. I believe that people who are far from God can identify more with our transparency than they can with our super-spirituality.

Leverage collaborative connections

The last thing that I believe we need as leaders is other leaders that are fighting along side us. I remember as a young guy starting out in kids’ ministry and not knowing what the heck I was doing.  I would have done anything to have 10 minutes with someone like Jim Wideman or Craig Juntila or anyone for that matter who had been doing kids’ ministry longer than me. When I was starting out, I was not connected to any other kids’ pastors, and I made some bonehead mistakes simply because I didn’t know better. I also did some things well but could have done better had there been other voices speaking into my life.

Fast forward to today, and I can tell you I have met more awesome kids’ leaders in the past year than in all my years of ministry combined. There are so many phenomenal tools like Twitter, www.cmconnect.org and www.kidology.com to help you connect, learn, and grow. Hard to believe that 12 years ago I would’ve had to spend $2,000 to attend a conference to wait in line for the slim chance of asking Brother Jim one question. Today I can sit on my couch, unshowered, eating cheetos while watching the Yankees slaughter the Red Sox , and Tweet my question to Jim (@jimwideman by the way).  I get my response before the baseball game is over. Or I can think of a joke that would make @funnymandan laugh all the way in Australia. That, my friends, is amazing.

If you are not leveraging the power of collaboration, you need to start for your sake, for your kids’ sake and for the kingdom’s sake.

One of the things that derails many people in ministry is the issue of motivation. If you are going to make it for the long haul you need to have a Kingdom building mindset. You have to realize that I am here to build the Kingdom of God I am not hear to build my kingdom or to become personally famous.

I recognize this can trap anyone. I constantly have to remember where my worth comes from. Jesus isn’t impressed with how many twitter followers I have. (Although I do wonder WWJT what would Jesus Tweet, I am positive that He would have a twitter account but what would his status updates look like, sorry but I think crazy stuff like this all the time.) The reality is  that in todays day of blogs, facebook and twitter knowing if someone is building their own kingdom or God’s kingdom isn’t always easy to discern. Issues of motivation are very difficult but the results of the decisions we make always shine an external light on our inward motivations. It generally doesn’t take people to long to see whose kingdom you are building.

Few things sadden me than when I see people in the ministry for personal gain. Not just because those people drive me crazy personally but because there is a group of people who have a hireling and not a shepherd. I believe in the local church. It hurts my heart to think that people would use the name of Christ and His church as a platform to gain influence, fame, personal wealth.  I understand that I am a sinful person who can be trapped by fame and flattery as much as the next person. But if you and I want to last for the long haul we need to ask ourselves do I have the same attitude as Christ Jesus? What helps me make it for the long haul reading Philippians 2 and asking God to do this in me.

Philippians 2:1-11

¹If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ²then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. ³Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. ⁴Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

⁵Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
⁶Who, being in very nature^[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
⁷but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature^[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
⁸And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
⁹Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
¹⁰that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
¹¹and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

If you have been in ministry of any capacity for more than one day I am sure that you have been through a season of discouragement.

A big reason many people quit kids ministry is due to prolonged periods of discouragement. One of the skills every kids pastor needs is the ability to encourage themselves. If you don’t know how to identify when you are starting to feel discouraged your chances of prolonged discouragement and perhaps even depression are very great.

To deal with discouragement you need to recognize your signs and know what helps you when you are feeling discouraged.

Early warning signs I look for in myself:

1. Irritability
2. Lack of Focus
3. Pessimistic outlook on life
4. Tired
5. Apathetic
6. Frustrated by small things

I look for any of these things starting to creep up in my life if and when I notice them I realize that the clock is ticking and I need to take steps to counter them or it will only get worse.  Here are some of the things I do when I start to see signs of discouragement in my life.

1. Ask God for help
2. Talk to accountability partners and close friends about what I am feeling.
3. Make sure I am reading my bible.
4. I am a big music person – Listening to worship music does wonders for me personally
5. Practice Thankfulness  - Jim Wideman taught me this one (to be honest if this is all I learned from Brother Jim it would be enough. This his helped me more than anything. When I feel discouraged thanking God helps me with my perspective.)
6. Spend time with friends and family – nothing helps discouragement more than surrounding yourself with people who know your good, bad and ugly and  love you any way.

If you are going to make it for the long haul in ministry you need to know how to recognize the signs of discouragement in your own life and be proactive at taking steps to walk out of it.

For me the hands down number one thing you need to make it for the long haul in children’s ministry is an overwhelming sense of calling. I have talked to many people in ministry who have lasted over the long haul nearly all of them can point to a specific sense of calling, an event where they felt God was leading them to do what they are currently doing.

Many times I have felt like quitting. The thing that keeps me every time is knowing that when I was 12 years old God spoke to me in such a profound way calling me to do what I currently do that I can’t shake it. I know that I know that I know. If you are going to survive all the ups and downs the disappointments and the triumphs you have to have that calling that centers you.

I remember when I was 12 years old I attended a Phil Driscoll concert with my parents. While Phil was playing his trumpet I felt God speak to me that I was going to be a pastor and work with youth. I was upset because growing up a pastor’s kid I had no illusions as to what that meant. I told God that if that’s what he wanted me to do I would need a confirmation that what I was feeling was God and not pepperoni pizza. Right then Phil put down his trumpet and pulled out a letter. Before he started to read the letter he explained that he doesn’t normally do this but felt he needed to. Phil went on to read a letter sent to him by a young man that attended one of his concerts and while Phil was playing his trumpet this young man felt God speak to him that he was to enter full time ministry. I felt numb, tears filled my eyes, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I knew then with the same assurance that I know now God wanted me to spend my life speaking, training and leading the next generation.

When you are sure of the call of God on your life it helps you to see past the day to day struggles. Do I have bad days? Oh ya. Do I ever doubt I am doing what God created me to do? Never.

If you want to make it for the long haul know your call.