What makes Mister Rogers so relevant decades after his show was canceled and years after his death was his presence. In reflecting on his life and legacy. I would argue that one of the most profound things about Fred Rogers was the holistic way he lived his life. His superpowers were humility, empathy, kindness, and presence—in a word, Christlikeness.
Fred’s set was tired, and his puppets seemed to age with him. Although his songs were not the most beautiful, their simplicity, purity, and clarity were captivating. His methods were not cutting-edge, but who he was and how he lived left a lasting mark on a generation.
The mistake we make is thinking that Fred was one of a kind and an anomaly. We are moved by his life, message, and story, yet we move on from his life so quickly. We love what he did but don’t connect what he did with WHY he did what he did. Fred was a loving person who believed that “The greatest thing we can do is let people know that they are loved and capable of loving.” He believed this because he had experienced that kind of love from God.
Over the course of the nearly thirty years I have been a pastor, one thing that the church has been obsessed with puzzles me: how the church in America can see a Fred and not understand the power that Fred had.
So many conversations I have had over the years with pastors and leaders revolve around the stuff that doesn’t ultimately matter: innovation, church size, and relevance. The desire to be cool, hip, or whatever the word is right now. Fred was a lot of things cool and hip where none of them.
People are impressed by the new and cool, but they are impacted by love. Genuine connections that are grounded in love.
“Love is at the root of everything: all learning, all relationships, love or the lack of it.”
– Fred Rogers
Love or the lack of it. Every virtue finds its home in love, and every vice finds its source in broken love. Love that is misdirected, misshapen, or excessive. Fred learned over the years that real connections with people are more important than new sets, fresh paint, and cutting-edge technology.
The first half of my time as a pastor was marked by churches strongly influenced by the seeker movement, which was more about marketing Jesus than it was about modeling Jesus. The seeker movement grew because people are in the market for hope, and seeker churches were professional marketers of hope. People in our broken world are desperately seeking to be loved. The seeker movement failed because modeling Jesus is much more costly and far less flashy than glossy handouts, bright lights, and rehearsed cover songs.
Modeling Jesus comes from a life of surrender, a life that has experienced suffering because of fallen nature and fallen humanity. Why did Fred feel for those who were hurting? He was bullied in school as a kid. He experienced love and the loss of love. That mixture of suffering and surrender creates in us a lasting awareness of our lack and God’s supply.Message Sam Luce
The early 2000’s was all about excellence and production value. Neither is wrong, but if elevated to be the goal of each weekend, they become idols where we produce perfect services at the expense of real community and genuine connection. In our desire to reach our neighborhoods and cities, we have turned to events, production, and invitations to what we are doing and have forgotten how to be present and the need we have for real connection and genuine relationships. Events complement connections. The substance of real relationships must never be replaced by flash or floating fame.
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How Did Mister Rogers model for us the genuine connections that were the hallmark of his life and ministry?
1. His reach was to thousands, but his approach was personal.
In a culture that values success at all costs. Fred was different. He wasn’t trying to build a platform. He was thinking of individual kids. He looked into the camera and talked to one kid at a time. His message wasn’t about mass consumption. He reached millions, but each kid felt like they were the only ones he was talking to. One of the most profound things Fred taught us was to remember what it was like to be a kid once. This is really just a more modern way of saying what Jesus says in Matthew 19:14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”
2. He never outgrew one-on-one connections.
If you want to connect with people talk to them one-on-one in person. We love the efficiency of social media and text messages. Efficiency does not promote intimacy. Deep friendships and lasting relationships happen in unhurried moments over the course of months and years. In one episode, Fred introduced his friends to Jeffery Erlanger, a young boy who was a quadriplegic. Fred’s interactions with Jeffery speak to Jeffery’s dignity as an image bearer. Their connection was more than theater for views. It was like everything that was Mister Rogers; it was 100% genuine. In a touching moment many years later, Jeffery, now an adult, came on stage to honor Fred as he was being inducted to the TV Hall of Fame. Fred’s reaction was so moving, their connection so genuine. Fred knew that you entertain crowds, but you connect with people one-on-one.
3. His focus was on people, not fame.
Fred said in the above video “Fame is a four-letter word and like tape, or zoom, or face, or pain, or life, or love what ultimately matters is what we do with it.”
“Fame is a four-letter word and like tape, or zoom, or face, or pain, or life, or love what ultimately matters is what we do with it.”
– Fred Rogers
We do not have royalty by design in our country, but we have royalty nonetheless. Our Royals are stars and influencers. Fame is the bloodline that connects American royalty. Fred is perhaps one of the most beloved characters to have ever appeared on Television. He is beloved not because he is famous but because he loved people more than fame. He was the same person wherever he was because he had no persona. Mister Rogers was just Fred Rogers doing what he did in front of a camera in his everyday life. He was curious about the world, unconcerned about fame, and obsessed with kindness towards others.
4. He talked about difficult things, not just popular things.
We are in an election year, and this principle is everywhere around us. We have politicians who are trying to get us to like them enough to vote for them. What is their method to do this? Trying to stick to what is popular. Trying to say everything in a way that they think people will want to hear. If you watch any presidential debate. Questions are asked, and the answers are not given to address the questions. Hard topics are avoided. Fred never did this. His passion was not to win the popular vote. He believed that people, especially kids, deserve the truth. So he told it. So often, we shield kids from hard things and keep conversations superficial, but kids know when you are doing this. They want to be told the truth. Fred talked about assassination, divorce, racism, and death. If you want to connect with people. Tell the truth even if the truth is hard to tell.
Tell the truth even if the truth is hard to tell.
5. He was attentive.
If you want create real and lasting connections with others. Listen more than you speak. Fred would say it this way “Listening is a very active awareness of the coming together of at least two lives. Listening, as far as I’m concerned, is certainly a prerequisite of love. One of the most essential ways of saying “I love you” is by being a receptive listener.”
Really, listening to others fuses you with others because your unbroken attention honors them and honors God.
6. He allowed his own sorrows to soften his heart towards others.
Finally, a shared understanding of fallen nature and fallen man will create genuine connections with others. Part of the reason that Fred was able to show kindness to others is he understood what it was like to be the recipient of both kindness and derision.
“Fred described himself as a sickly, chubby boy. Peers called him Fat Freddy, and he struggled to fit in. His parents were very overprotective, especially because of being the wealthiest family in his small town. He had a chauffeur drive him to school and pick him up for lunch and after school each day. He always felt different because of his severe asthma and his status as the ‘rich kid’. Several factors helped Fred to overcome his adversities.
Early on, Fred did not want to voice his feelings for fear he’d be labelled a bad boy. He remembers not knowing it was okay to feel angry when bullied because adults had told him to, “Ignore the bullies and just let on you don’t care and then nobody will bother you.” Gradually, he refused to accept that pretending not to care about teasing would alleviate his pain and loneliness.
Music became his emotional refuge growing up. “I was always able to cry or laugh or say I was angry thru the tips of my fingers on the piano. I would go to the piano even when I was 5 years old and start to play how I felt. It was very natural for me to become a composer.”Fred sought out stories of other people who were poor in spirit and felt for them too.
Fred also spent countless hours in his bedroom playing with his puppets and using his imagination. His friend Peggy came home with him for lunch every day. They played in the attic where Fred entertained her with puppets and marionettes.But it was in high school that Fred found his confidence. A popular football player, Jim Stumbaugh, had to spend a few weeks in the hospital, and Fred’s mom arranged for Fred to bring him homework and tutor him. The two boys became friends for life, and Jim helped Fred integrate socially back at school. Fred became confident, the stucco president, editor of the school paper, an actor in theater, and a great student. He was well-liked, dedicated to schoolwork and his piano. Mr. Rogers relates that his new football friend Jim told kids that Fred was a good guy, and “That made all the difference in the world for me. What a difference one person can make in the life of another. It’s almost as if he had said, “I like you just the way you are.”
If you are looking for more of my thoughts about what we can learn from Fred Rogers. In my recently released book Forming Faith, a book I co-authored with two of my friends. In chapter two of that book, I discuss Why our Churches need to be More Like Mister Rogers and Less Like Disney. I would love for you to read that chapter as well as the rest of the book we wrote together. Below is a link for you to order Forming Faith for yourself. If you like what you have read, please consider leaving a kind review on Amazon. Thank you so much for your constant support.