In this era of tabloids and blogs it seems that every celebrity out there changes spouses with the regularity that is recommended to you by your auto mechanic in regards to your mini-vans oil. It’s refreshing to say the least when you hear of celebrities bucking the trend. My wife was reading through a magazine of her’s and came to this short article that although the advice may be a bit basic, I found it encouraging because it was someone who is famous focusing on what really matters.
Here are a few pointers that Harry had that makes his marriage strong that I think are instructive for us all.
1. “I married my best friend.” – This is huge and needs to be shouted to our kids and to the world friendship has to be the basis for a strong marriage. I think young people have this idea about a perfect mate is based on their physical beauty. And as a result they miss a person who would be a better mate because they are simply a good friend.
2. “The seriousness of our commitment is paramount to us.” The fact they both take their commitment so seriously needs to be celebrated and replicated. One of my favorite quotes on marriage is from Bonhoeffer who says in a letter to his niece who was about to be married “It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.”
3. “I’ll do anything to make her laugh, but sometimes I just annoy her by singing the Sleepy’s mattress jingle.” There has to be a continued commitment to fun. If you can’t laugh at each other and with each other your chance at longevity is severely diminished. Have fun enjoy each other do not take yourself to seriously. There is an proper sense of humility we need that allows us to see ourselves and our quirks and not be offended when attention has been drawn to them but be grateful someone knows us well enough to notice them.
4. “When just the two of us are out on a dinner date, we talk about our three girls. We’re not the kind of people who want to get away from them.” This blew me away because I guess I just assume every celebrity has multiple nannies. My wife and I don’t go out a ton because we enjoy our kids. We want to spend time with them. We actually enjoy their company as they get older and develop their personalities more and more it will only get better. Want to healthy marriage go out on dates. Want a healthy family spend lots of time together.